He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
