I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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