spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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