Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mom said you looked used
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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