can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
