I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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