Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Damn victory sex feels great
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