so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
