hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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