rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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