We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
