think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize