He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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