If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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