She announced her abortion via fbk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
