We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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