I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
time to smoke my breakfast
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
