he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
