i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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