i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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