I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
