Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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