No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
