It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
