im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
