Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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