So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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