I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
