He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
