: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
