i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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