he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
