you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
