Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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