i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
