That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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