38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
