Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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