I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
