My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
