Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
