Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
