I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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