I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
