I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
