Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
should my penis look like a turkey
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize