The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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