Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
