HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
