She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
