on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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