we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
