Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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