I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
