i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I touched a dick in church today
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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