i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
