I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
