Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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