it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
