First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
