their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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