it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A+ Viking dick
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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