If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he puts the penis in happiness.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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