I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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