Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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