operation have a gay friend backfired
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
