did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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