This gyro tastes like lonliness
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
