We named our party play list daddy issues
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
