why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
