the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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