i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
