North Korea, Best Korea!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
where are you?
Hypothermia
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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